


The Healing Process

by sixtysevenlmpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Wing Kink, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:10:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtysevenlmpala/pseuds/sixtysevenlmpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the anonymous prompt: "Sastiel where Sam can see Cas's wings and maybe some wing kink and or cuddles please and thank uwu"</p>
<p>Sam sees something he shouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Healing Process

“Hey, Cas, would you do me a favour and—holy shit.”

Sam stopped in his tracks and let the thick book he was carrying drop from his hands. All of a sudden, he couldn’t even remember what he’d wanted Cas to clarify for him. Because he was too busy staring at Cas’s _gigantic wings_.

They were… well, they were stunning, his feathers glistening gold, catching the gleams of light from the overhead strobe in the kitchen and bouncing them back so brightly that Sam instinctively wanted to shield his eyes.

There was something not quite right, though, something… incomplete; the feathers nearer his wingtips seemed almost discoloured, and sparser – but Sam didn’t have more than a second to look before Cas was whipping around to face him, eyes wide in horror.

“Sam!” Cas exclaimed, his tall wings fluttering spastically and knocking various pots and pans from the shelves. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no,” he muttered, backing away warily and trying to gather the wings behind him, looking as if he might burst into tears.

“What—Cas, whoa, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you—“

“This is all wrong,” Cas mumbled mournfully, darting his eyes around once more before spreading his wings impressively and disappearing with a final swoop.

Sam blinked in confusion. “Um. Okay.”

***

A couple of Cas-less weeks later and Sam was moping in his room, as he had been every other Cas-less day. This _thing_ between he and Cas was so new and delicate, full of kisses so tentative and sweet, and he knew he’d fucked it up, _knew_ he’d crossed some sort of line and cursed himself for it even though it was an accident. He knew vaguely that humans weren’t meant to see angel wings except for special circumstances, but he’d never known _what_ circumstances, exactly.

Not accidentally walking in on him while he was preparing a salad, that’s for sure.

“Hello, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes shot open and he scrambled to sit up on his bed, but didn’t get up, staying at a safe distance as if Castiel was a deer that could spook at any moment, although he did seem a lot more collected now. “Cas, hi. Listen, I wanted to say…”

“No, Sam, I would like to speak now.”

“Oh.” Sam felt a little like he was about to be scolded by a teacher. “Right. Okay.”

Cas took a measured breath, letting the silence drag on so thickly that Sam could hear his own heart thumping frantically inside his chest, rattling his ribcage. Cas didn’t move from his spot over by Sam’s bedroom door, but he spoke at length. “You weren’t meant to see what you saw, Sam. It was… wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said immediately, biting his lip and clasping his hands in his lap, in a nervous mockery of prayer. “It was an accident, Cas, I swear, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. But… why, uh. Why exactly was it wrong?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Cas sighed. “As a general rule, angels are never to show their wings to a member of the human race. You are inferior, after all.” Sam frowned, and Cas tilted his head. “No offence.”

“None taken,” Sam muttered.

“Anyway, the only loophole is if we show them to those we… care for the most. A deep, intimate bond must be shared between the angel and the human in question for the action to be deemed unpunishable.”

“Right.” Sam swallowed dryly, trying and failing to meet Cas’s ice-blue eyes, instead looking down at his hands as his heart slowly thunked into his shoes. “So, basically, it’s gotta be someone you love.”

“I suppose that is how you’d put it, yes,” Cas said, looking relieved that Sam understood. He opened his mouth to say something else, the beginnings of the word _Also…_ forming on his lips, but Sam cut him off.

“And that’s not me.”

Cas squinted in bewilderment for a second – Sam finding difficulty in seeing it as the adorable gesture it usually was, considering Sam was currently feeling about six inches tall – and then his mouth formed a little ‘o’ of comprehension. “Sam, I think you may have the wrong—“

“No,” Sam said, standing up and raising both palms to Cas. “It’s fine. You don’t feel that way. That’s fine, Cas,” he said softly, turning away from him to hide the hurt etched into his face. It was stupid, anyway. They hadn’t been… dating? Seeing each other? Whatever, they hadn’t been an _us_ for a long time, and it was presumptuous of Sam to assume that Cas was in the same place as him.

Just because he felt deeply for Cas, just because he made him feel safe and warm and happy and looked-after, just because he thought maybe he’d been in love with him for years now – didn’t mean Cas automatically felt the same.

Sam wasn’t surprised, really. He was so tainted, so _impure_ even after so many attempts to cleanse his soul… It was no wonder Cas didn’t think he was worthy of seeing his wings.

A hesitant moment later, there was an unseen flutter, and Cas was gone.

***

The next unprompted, gravelly, “Hello, Sam,” came the morning after.

“Cas,” Sam sighed with a tight smile, looking up from his caffeine breakfast to see his favourite trenchcoated angel hovering on the other side of the dining table.

“I feel I should clear something up.”

“Nothing to clear up, Cas. I got it loud and clear. Alright? And it’s _okay_. It makes sense. We haven’t been together for that long, I don’t expect you to… to…” He sighed again, putting his steaming cup of coffee down on the table and raking a hand through his hair. “To feel like that. The deep bond, or whatever.”

“No, that’s what I would like to clarify, actually. You see, I realise I may have given you an incorrect impression.”

Sam swiped his tongue over his bottom lip briefly, then raised expectant eyebrows, ready to listen, but not anticipating anything that could melt the stone-cold feeling in his gut that he just wasn’t good enough. “Okay, shoot.”

Cas tilted his head, fixing his eyes on Sam with enough intensity to make his chest flutter. “I do wish to reveal my wings to you, Sam,” he said, matter-of-factly. “I feel the bond we share is more than worthy of such a gesture. But… I can’t. Not yet.”

Sam frowned. “I’m not following.”

Cas shifted uncomfortably on his feet, looking down at the floor. “When… when Metatron cast the angels and myself out of heaven, the shock of the fall combined with the grace being ripped from our very cores caused substantial… damage. Both within and without.”

“Jesus,” Sam murmured, taken aback by his frank description of what must have been celestial levels of agony, thinking back to his own vague, pain-addled memories of fireballs screaming through the sky.

Cas sighed. “My wings haven’t been the same, since. I have been steadily healing them, little by little, because… because I wanted to impress you. But they’re not done.”

“Oh,” Sam mumbled, feeling stupid and giddy at the same time. “I-I’m sorry, Cas, I just thought—you don’t have to show me until you’re ready, alright?” he said softly.

Cas gave him a slow, wry smile, walking closer to Sam’s seat. “You already caught a glimpse. I see no sense in holding out any further. And in any case, I trust you, Sam. Just… just please don’t laugh at me, okay?”

Sam laughed a little at _that_ , but he nodded earnestly.

Cas gave a brief nod, then shrugged his shoulders backwards, as if shaking an invisible weight off his back. It was as if a cloak had been swept away – one moment, there was nothing but air surrounding Castiel; the next, a shining sheath of feathers tucked neatly into his form, framing his body in a way that was inexplicably beautiful. With a shy lowering of his lashes, Cas hesitantly spread them, shaking them out at the tips and causing a few stray feathers to float to the floor as he did so.

Now Sam could see: the feathers closest to the tips weren’t just discoloured, they were _charred_ , coated in ash and half-crumbled away, in some places completely deteriorated, leaving his wings in skeletal tatters.

“As you can see, the healing process is proving more difficult than I anticipated.”

“Oh, wow, Cas,” Sam breathed, rising up from his seat and approaching as if in a trance, utterly transfixed. “They’re… so beautiful.”

“What? Sam, I’m falling apart.” Cas frowned to himself. “An angel without his full wings is barely worthy of the title.”

Sam shook his head, reaching his hand out unthinkingly to stroke the backs of his knuckles gently over the feathers. They quivered under his touch, Cas’s expression softening with the movement of Sam’s hand. “I love them,” Sam said sincerely, holding Cas’s gaze. “I think you’re doin’ a wonderful job healing them, Cas, but they’re perfect just like this, too. ‘Cause they’re you, y’know?”

Cas’s face was a sweet shade of pink, his wings a constant hum of appreciative vibration as Sam continued to thread his fingers through the soft, gilded feathers. Sam beamed, enjoying watching him preen like a little kitten, practically purring every time Sam trailed his fingertips over his wings. He moved closer into Cas’s space so he could slide his hand over to the place where Cas’s wings joined his shoulder blade. As soon as he got there, though, Cas let out a sound that was unmistakably a _whimper_ , his mouth going a little slack as he looked at Sam with wide eyes.

“Uh, Cas, are you-- You. Do you… _like_ that?” Sam murmured, watching his face curiously as he pushed his fingers deeper into the thick feathers at that spot.

Cas gasped, a shuddering, open-mouthed gasp that made the hairs on the back of Sam’s neck prickle. This was… certainly new. “Sam,” Cas said, with a great amount of effort, “you sh-should really stop doing that. That, ah, particular gland is… something of an erogenous zone for angels.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, and he retracted his hand a little. “You want me to stop?”

“I… I don’t… I don’t know. It feels—“ he mumbled, suddenly looking downwards. Sam followed his gaze to see a noticeable bulge forming in the front of Cas’s slacks, couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight of it. This was completely new territory; they hadn’t progressed to anything remotely sexual beyond a little making out yet, and Sam was perfectly willing to wait. But… now, he was kind of hoping he wouldn’t have to. “Sam,” Cas breathed, low and rough, pushing up imperceptibly into the pressure of Sam’s palm and gasping a little. “I-I think I want you to… to touch me.”

“God,” Sam breathed, dumbstruck for a moment before he tugged Cas into a fierce kiss, burying his hand in those thick feathers and pushing down on the slightly raised bump of that joint. Cas groaned, kissing him back just as hard, teeth desperately tugging at Sam’s bottom lip as Sam cupped him through his slacks, Cas’s hips pushing up into his palm.

“Sam. Sam, _touch_ me,” Cas growled softly, and Sam chuckled, shoving him playfully up against the kitchen counter and slipping his hand inside his slacks, pulling his cock out. It throbbed in his fist every time Sam dug his fingers into that sweet spot and it was already wet and slick, Cas panting into his mouth and clutching at him.

Sam grinned wickedly, pulling back to look Cas in the eye before fisting his hand in the feathers concealing the gland and tugging sharply – not hard enough to rip them out, but hard enough for Cas’s eyes to roll back in his head, mouth falling open on a low moan as he bucked his hips wildly into Sam’s hand.

Sam kept it up, a constant stinging pressure on his wing as he bit at Cas’s jaw and his neck, squeezing at his cock and jacking him smooth and quick. His own cock was aching in his jeans but he ignored it, because Christ, he didn’t wanna miss a second of this. “God, Cas, look so fuckin’ good, you’re so beautiful like this, wanna see you like this all the goddamn time,” he panted, and Cas whined, hands scrabbling desperately at Sam’s shoulders. Sam’s head was spinning. “One day I—I wanna fuck you like this, take you from behind so I can tug on these pretty feathers, huh?” he whispered, and that was it.

Cas threw his head back, moaning Sam’s name and shuddering through his orgasm, coating Sam’s fist in come. It took him a long while to come down, Sam holding him – a little awkwardly, given the freakin’ enormous wings jutting out from his shoulders, but still secure and warm, arms wrapped tight around him as his hands soothed up and down his spine – until he stopped trembling and looked up at him.

“I did not anticipate that to happen when I decided to show you my wings,” Cas admitted, with a soft smile.

“Me neither.” Sam kissed him slowly, gently smoothing down the feathers he’d ruffled. “I’m real glad you did, though.”

“Me too,” Cas said. “I’m glad it was you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment/kudos if you liked!


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